Wednesday, May 04, 2011

The Second Axis

Kinsey missed something, I fear. For every analysis of persons 1 through 7 (one has already changed sexual course) there is an alternate consideration: Is she a top or a bottom? I'm purposefully abandoning the words "masculine" and "feminine" because they're about as helpful as "grey" and "pink" in actually conveying a concrete characteristic. As I know each of these persons quite well, I feel competent to make an initial assessment of where they sit on the second axis of an improved Kinsey scale. On the second axis, 0 is totally passive (bottomy) while 6 is totally active (toppy). I hope you all will correct me if I am wrong.

1. Man #1 is a 6 on the Kinsey scale, with no interest whatsoever in pussy (in fact, he harbors a bit of revulsion for pussy). Yet he is rather active, with some limited passive tendencies. I'm pegging him a 4.

2. Man #2 is a 5.5 on the Kinsey scale - he only likes black chicks, and otherwise is strictly dickly. He is rarely aggressive (which has the pleasant side effect of making him a very nice person). I'd guess he's around a 3, maybe 2. That's not to say he never tops, of course, this isn't about sex (I've never fucked him) but about how likely I imagine he is to throw the first punch at the bar.

3.Woman #3 is a 6 on the Kinsey scale. You would undoubtedly describe her to me as a universal top if you saw her in a bar, but honestly she's a mere kitten. I'm putting her at 2 despite her athletic ability.

4. Woman #4 is perhaps my greatest enigma. She's sitting squarely on Kinsey number 3 at the moment. Undoubtedly in bed she is topped often, but her personality strikes me more around a 4.

5. Woman #5 now sits pretty comfortably at 1 Kinsey-wise (at least she implied that when I tried to holla). But I challenge anyone to try to give her shit - she will school you. 6.

6. Woman #6 I'm putting at 4 Kinsey-wise, given her recent assertion that pussy is just SO much more compelling than cock. I wouldn't want to face her in battle, but her toppiness doesn't seem absolute. I'll put her right in the middle at 3.

Why do this? Other than making my friends hate me for their ranking, I'm hoping they'll correct me. When they do, I believe I can begin a graph I expect to take years to finish. Now to publicize. Anecdotes welcome.