In response to this Minnesota man's recent "testimony" to the Minnesota legislature in light of their consideration of a same-sex marriage bill, I wanted to clear up a few things about vaginas. Clearly, there is some confusion.
You see, this "concerned father" and asshole, Mark Fry, argues against same-sex marriage on the premise that if same-sex persons are able to marry they will be able to (finally) have sex, and in the case of homosexuals this sex would be "sodomy," which he recalls as illegal in Minnesota, and notes the particular sensitivity of the colon to disease, particularly AIDS.
Wait, it gets better. Apparently, same-sex marital coitus doesn't pose the same risk of a "health risk for society at large" and "a financial burden on the state paying for all the resulting disease." This is because the vagina has a “barrier of cellular tissue that doesn’t allow the sperm… to penetrate the blood flow.”
This is disturbingly reminiscent of the recent Todd Akin (a congressman!) comments that the vagina has the capacity to repel the sperm of rapists by some miraculous natural mechanism.
Well boys, I have a vagina. I'm a big fan of my vagina. Let me tell you what it can do. It can receive sexual overtures from another human, male or female, and it will accept my autostimulatory efforts in lieu of such overtures if I ask. It can talk, hug, pulse. It can become engorged. It can lubricate itself. It can shoot out babies from my uterus. It could probably smoke a cigarette if I asked. It can look pretty (though probably not when shooting out the aforementioned babies).
What my vagina, sadly, lacks, along with every other human vagina in the universe, is the capacity to repel sperm, viruses, bacteria, John Tesh, ill-advised musical numbers, tampons, badgers, Minnesota assholes, or rapist sperm. You would know this, Todd Akin and Minnesota asshole, if you had a vagina. But you do not. So, for the love of god, stop talking about them like you know how they work. Frankly, I'm shocked either of you knew enough about them to plant your own idiotic sperm in one. And, man, do I pity that poor vagina.
You see, this "concerned father" and asshole, Mark Fry, argues against same-sex marriage on the premise that if same-sex persons are able to marry they will be able to (finally) have sex, and in the case of homosexuals this sex would be "sodomy," which he recalls as illegal in Minnesota, and notes the particular sensitivity of the colon to disease, particularly AIDS.
Wait, it gets better. Apparently, same-sex marital coitus doesn't pose the same risk of a "health risk for society at large" and "a financial burden on the state paying for all the resulting disease." This is because the vagina has a “barrier of cellular tissue that doesn’t allow the sperm… to penetrate the blood flow.”
This is disturbingly reminiscent of the recent Todd Akin (a congressman!) comments that the vagina has the capacity to repel the sperm of rapists by some miraculous natural mechanism.
Well boys, I have a vagina. I'm a big fan of my vagina. Let me tell you what it can do. It can receive sexual overtures from another human, male or female, and it will accept my autostimulatory efforts in lieu of such overtures if I ask. It can talk, hug, pulse. It can become engorged. It can lubricate itself. It can shoot out babies from my uterus. It could probably smoke a cigarette if I asked. It can look pretty (though probably not when shooting out the aforementioned babies).
What my vagina, sadly, lacks, along with every other human vagina in the universe, is the capacity to repel sperm, viruses, bacteria, John Tesh, ill-advised musical numbers, tampons, badgers, Minnesota assholes, or rapist sperm. You would know this, Todd Akin and Minnesota asshole, if you had a vagina. But you do not. So, for the love of god, stop talking about them like you know how they work. Frankly, I'm shocked either of you knew enough about them to plant your own idiotic sperm in one. And, man, do I pity that poor vagina.
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