The blogosphere has produced a particularly entertaining viral piece asserting that one scholar reads a fourth-century gospel to indicate that Jesus was gay.
So, I took it upon myself to look up the Gospel of Judas Iscariot itself and have a look-see. Now, I can turn almost anything into a gay metaphor, but I'll be damned if I could find one even indirect suggestion in this text of any Messianic homosexual behaviors. Still, I love the idea of Big Gay Jesus so much I've decided to explore reasons why we might suppose Jesus was gay.
1. We know Jesus lived in a Roman province, and that means the laws of his home country would not have addressed homosexual behaviors at all. Many, if not most, Romans would be termed "bisexual" under our modern definition of the term. You know the saying, "When in Rome..."
2. Jesus died unmarried at 32 (roughly). Well, if you're the prophet of a religion that so strongly encourages marital procreation (ahem), how could you not be married? There is of course the argument that he really was married to Mary Magdalene (cite: Dan Brown). Well, you can't have it both ways, Christians! Was he a nice married boy whose relationship was rejected by you for some unknown reason, or did he just not fancy the ladies so much? We only hear about one woman in his life...
3. Disciples, twelve of them, all dudes. Sounds a lot like Peter Thiel. Did Jesus also buy an island off the coast to play with his boys?
4. The Last Supper. Thesis: ya'll eat my body! Frankly, that sounds like a Saturday night show in the Castro.
6. The best excluded Gospel for our purposes, according to US Biblical scholar Morton Smith, is a fragment of manuscript he found at the Mar Saba monastery
near Jerusalem in 1958. What he found said in Chapter 10 of Mark (Verses 34-35):
And the youth, looking upon him (Jesus), loved him and beseeched that he might remain with him. And going out of the tomb, they went into the house of the youth, for he was rich. And after six days, Jesus instructed him and, at evening, the youth came to him wearing a linen cloth over his naked body. And he remained with him that night, for Jesus taught him the mystery of the Kingdom of God.
So, Jesus was "gay" with a twink fetish? There seems to be as much biblical suggestion that Jesus was intimate with men as with women. I'm pegging him at a 4.5 on the Kinsey scale, cause we don't see the intimacy of the Gospel of Mark with any ladies anywhere in the Good Book, do we...?
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| credit: Kersplebedeb.com |
So, I took it upon myself to look up the Gospel of Judas Iscariot itself and have a look-see. Now, I can turn almost anything into a gay metaphor, but I'll be damned if I could find one even indirect suggestion in this text of any Messianic homosexual behaviors. Still, I love the idea of Big Gay Jesus so much I've decided to explore reasons why we might suppose Jesus was gay.
1. We know Jesus lived in a Roman province, and that means the laws of his home country would not have addressed homosexual behaviors at all. Many, if not most, Romans would be termed "bisexual" under our modern definition of the term. You know the saying, "When in Rome..."
2. Jesus died unmarried at 32 (roughly). Well, if you're the prophet of a religion that so strongly encourages marital procreation (ahem), how could you not be married? There is of course the argument that he really was married to Mary Magdalene (cite: Dan Brown). Well, you can't have it both ways, Christians! Was he a nice married boy whose relationship was rejected by you for some unknown reason, or did he just not fancy the ladies so much? We only hear about one woman in his life...
3. Disciples, twelve of them, all dudes. Sounds a lot like Peter Thiel. Did Jesus also buy an island off the coast to play with his boys?
4. The Last Supper. Thesis: ya'll eat my body! Frankly, that sounds like a Saturday night show in the Castro.
5. But no, seriously, there's even shit in the Bible Constantine chose for us that can be read this way. John 21:20: Then Peter, turning about, seeth the disciple
whom Jesus loved following; which also leaned on his breast at supper,
and said, Lord, which is he that betrayeth thee? Sounds mighty loving, there, Christ.
And the youth, looking upon him (Jesus), loved him and beseeched that he might remain with him. And going out of the tomb, they went into the house of the youth, for he was rich. And after six days, Jesus instructed him and, at evening, the youth came to him wearing a linen cloth over his naked body. And he remained with him that night, for Jesus taught him the mystery of the Kingdom of God.
So, Jesus was "gay" with a twink fetish? There seems to be as much biblical suggestion that Jesus was intimate with men as with women. I'm pegging him at a 4.5 on the Kinsey scale, cause we don't see the intimacy of the Gospel of Mark with any ladies anywhere in the Good Book, do we...?
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