If you are an 11 year old born with a penis who likes to dress in makeup and pink dresses, there's a camp for you. The only sad part is that I can't tell you where to find it, because it's name and location have to stay secret to protect the campers.
The owner calls it "You for You," which isn't the real name, but it is the real idea. The idea is that if you are the parent of a gender nonconforming child, you can come to this camp with your child and allow your biologically male child to participate in beauty pageants and wear heels with other kids who like to do the same thing. Nobody's judging them.
Bu my favorite part of the whole article describing this heretofore-secret camp is that the manager doesn't expect (or encourage or discourage) these kids to grow up to be any particular way. She accepts that some may want gender reassignment surgery one day just as she accepts that some will stop wearing girls clothes in the next few years, marry women, and identify as straight at 30.
She doesn't think of gender as polar and permanent, and that's exactly what the rest of us need to notice. Because her point of view allows these kids to be really happy. (Check out her photos, because these kids do look like they're having a blast).
I painted Blanche Devereaux with an erection and wrote No Church in the Wild to make the same point. We have to stop thinking about gender and sexuality in terms of permanent polarities that don't really apply. It's much easier for a boy who wants to dress as a girl to say "I feel like wearing heels today" than it is to say "I want to be a girl forever." Just because the former is true doesn't mean the latter is. Describing only the present circumstances is much easier and much more honest than "coming out" as an identity or orientation. And it's much easier for us bisexuals to say "I want to date this [same-sex person] right now," which is about an action, than to say, "I'm a bisexual," which is a lifetime label with a number of nasty connotations that discourage the vast majority of bisexuals from ever coming out or using it.
So let's talk about our actions, now, instead of trying to cabin ourselves into permanent identities.
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| Credit: Lindsay Morris |
The owner calls it "You for You," which isn't the real name, but it is the real idea. The idea is that if you are the parent of a gender nonconforming child, you can come to this camp with your child and allow your biologically male child to participate in beauty pageants and wear heels with other kids who like to do the same thing. Nobody's judging them.
Bu my favorite part of the whole article describing this heretofore-secret camp is that the manager doesn't expect (or encourage or discourage) these kids to grow up to be any particular way. She accepts that some may want gender reassignment surgery one day just as she accepts that some will stop wearing girls clothes in the next few years, marry women, and identify as straight at 30.
She doesn't think of gender as polar and permanent, and that's exactly what the rest of us need to notice. Because her point of view allows these kids to be really happy. (Check out her photos, because these kids do look like they're having a blast).
I painted Blanche Devereaux with an erection and wrote No Church in the Wild to make the same point. We have to stop thinking about gender and sexuality in terms of permanent polarities that don't really apply. It's much easier for a boy who wants to dress as a girl to say "I feel like wearing heels today" than it is to say "I want to be a girl forever." Just because the former is true doesn't mean the latter is. Describing only the present circumstances is much easier and much more honest than "coming out" as an identity or orientation. And it's much easier for us bisexuals to say "I want to date this [same-sex person] right now," which is about an action, than to say, "I'm a bisexual," which is a lifetime label with a number of nasty connotations that discourage the vast majority of bisexuals from ever coming out or using it.
So let's talk about our actions, now, instead of trying to cabin ourselves into permanent identities.
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